I'M GOING FULL-TIME....
Honestly still hasn’t settled in that I’m actually sitting down to write this post right now. Today was my last day of my job as a Speech-Language Pathologist and begins my chapter as a full-time blogger.
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I am feeling the full range of emotions right now (kind of feel like I need this to be a 5-part series to articulate them all) but chief among them is just overwhelming gratitude for being able to bring a major, long-term dream to fruition and excitement at what’s to come. I want to say a major THANK YOU to you all for supporting me on this journey. Every single post you’ve read, photo you’ve liked, purchase you’ve made through one of my links, story you’ve watched.. they have all mattered so incredibly much to me and have made a direct and significant impact on my life. I wish I could give every one of you a hug!
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WHAT I’M SCARED OF…
With any big change comes some fear. I want to be authentic with you all and tell you that, while I’m over the moon excited, I also feel a little scared (and I’ve sort of decided that is the sweet spot for living my best life). The financial uncertainty of any type of entrepreneurship does make me nervous, but Cody has owned his own business since I met him so we are used to fluctuating income and trusting God with giving us what we need each month. Every now and then I have a fear pass over me that I can’t predict what 6 months from now is exactly going to look like, etc., but I feel like we’ve developed a pretty good system for combating this fear over the course of our marriage.
The tougher one… Imposter syndrome. This is the “What the heck do I think I’m doing?! I’m not cut out for this!” mindset that tends to plague all of us when we push ourselves out of our comfort zone. Sometimes I feel really confident in myself and what we’re doing in our little corner of the internet and sometimes I feel like a joke. I have to make a conscious choice not to listen to these thoughts everyday and to stop placing myself in the shoes of those who I think may criticize me and fantasize about what horrible things they may be saying. My best antidote for this at the current moment is just to get back to the work. Concentrating on what I love and engrossing myself in what I need to do that day to feel like I’ve moved the needle on my goals tends to relieve the anxiety of what others think.
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BUT HOW DO I ANSWER THIS QUESTION…
I feel a little embarrassed admitting that this has been one of my biggest sources of anxiety around this decision, but it goes to show how much of my identity I feel is wrapped up in my career choice (and I think we do this in society as a whole and it’s not healthy). BUT, I am so perplexed as to how to answer the “So, what do you do?” question.
Even though I’ve been spending significantly more time blogging than doing speech therapy for a long time now, I have always still defaulted to answering with “I’m a Speech-Language Pathologist” for a couple of reasons: 1. People get it. No need for an explanation or to answer a lot of uncomfortable questions about how much money you make. 2. I’m not proud of this statement, but this answer does tend to conjure up an image in people’s minds of something positive about you. SLP’s help people. SLP’s care about others… You get the gist.
Now I’m just being brutally honest here, but I fear that answering that question with “I’m an influencer.” Or blogger. Or content creator. Or however else you want to label it (which honestly what are we even calling this now?). might deliver a quite different image of that person. Vain. Materialistic. Superficial. To name a few that I fear.
Regardless, I feel so solid about this decision and that it’s the right one for me that I should not (and on good days don’t) care about others’ perceptions, but I think it will take some getting used to. I’m really happy about it, and I believe at my core that I am not those things so that is the truth I have to stand in. And frankly, we all need to see ourselves and others as wayyy more than their “jobs” and stop placing so much value on that anyways.
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WHAT I’M EXCITED ABOUT..
I feel so much excitement coursing through me that the fears and doubts just didn’t stand a chance when it came to making this decision. Cody and I have talked about it, daydreamed about it, planned for it, and been intentional about it since the very first day we started the blog, and I can’t WAIT to get started on this new day to day!
I have lots of new content ideas I am so excited to share with you all, and we are beyond antsy to get moving on some big concepts we’ve been sitting on for years. I’m the type of person who doesn’t really do well having a lot of tabs open in my life. I want to be fully here every day without a lot of other distractions and see how my creativity flows and where it takes me.
Above all, I am excited to connect more with YOU. More time to answer your messages. More time to deliver on promises. More time to provide value and hopefully some joy in your life. That is my greatest goal, and I am SO SO grateful that you all have decided to come along this journey with me!
Cheers to a new chapter!
**NOTE: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase through one of my links, I will receive a small commission at no cost to you. As always, all opinions are my own.